I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
