Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
