Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
