i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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