I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
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