last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
