Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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