its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
