Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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