The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
