I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
