he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
