I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
