I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
