He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
