is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just had sex bonerless
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
