I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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