capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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