Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
