Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
