i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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