gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
