I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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