I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
