Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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