which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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