In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
