thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
