Only a mothe r could love this liver
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
