whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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