We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
