Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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