Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
