Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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