Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
