After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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