Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
