Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
