also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
