I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
