u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
