Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
