I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
