Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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