he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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