i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
