Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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