No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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