the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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