So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
